Having a purposeful life

Today my heart feels very heavy. I am really struggling lately with a lot of feelings that maybe my new job isn't the right fit for me.
It makes me cry every time I think about whether it is bringing my life purpose? I will tell you a little about what I do/did for a job and maybe you can relate a little more that way.
I previously worked at an assisted living center for the past 10 1/2 years before leaving in June. I currently am employed at a local hospital as a  housekeeper. I was hoping to use this as a "starter" position to get my foot in the door.
I really feel like I am not serving God in this position....Does that make sense?
I am a people person with a big heart and my gifts are being "bottled up" and put on the back burner.
I need to keep praying that God will show me what I should do....
Please Pray for peace and that if change is the right path for me.
In God I will serve no matter the place:)
Michelle

Morning coffee with a little Prayer mixed in

Fresh start this morning on the dieting side of things.

I am having my routine cup of coffee and reading my daily devotional.
It's ironic that it is about worrying. Which is what I have been doing a lot of lately.

I am going to put looking for another job on the back burner for a while. I haven't heard anything from my interview, so I am taking a Que and trying to be content where I am at:)

There were a few quotes in todays reading that really struck me.

"The Lord goes before me, making crooked places straight."

The Lord sends poverty and wealth; he humbles and he exalts. 1 Samuel 2:7

I think to be rich, is not to be wealthy in material things or having lots of money in the bank. Having love, family & salvation are priceless.

Learning to let go

Do you ever feel like your life revolves or thrives on a routine?

If you break it everything would crumble around you?

Well I do. I am a huge planner. I thrive on LOTS of lists! I do a lot of the same things on the same days and times each and every week. Any of this sounding like you?

As of lately I am having(trying) to let go of some of my control over things and let God take the lead in my life. As you know I had to put my meeting for volunteering on hold due to a job interview last Monday. It has been a week today and I am "patiently" waiting to hear the decision, good or bad. I was told they would take a week or so to let me know, so I have been Praying that if this job would be a good fit for myself and my family that it would be given to me. God already knows what the answer is to that. I just need to trust in him and give up all control....he knows my path:)

P.S. I have not forgot about weighing in, it has just been put on the back burner lately. I will get back to it on Friday:-)

Tx again my friends,
Michelle

Praying on the spot

I struggle every day with comparison and envy. They are not healthy atributes to have by any means.
Sitting in church this morning there I was in the pew behind two beautiful young wives/mothers and what was going through my head? "I am not as skinny as them', "There outfits are better than mine"....I am not good enough.
Why?
Why...
Do I still feel this way?
I know I have worked so hard and Prayed even harder to get where I am weight wise. I will always be a work in progress when it comes to staying at a healthy weight, but I know I am doing my best. Now if I can just remember I AM GOOD ENOUGH:)

Faith looks at God instead of looking inward at inadequacies, problems, or circumstances.
Is there an area in your life or weight loss journey where you need to refocus? I would love to Pray for you:)

Michelle

Sunday morning worship

Do you ever struggle on Sunday mornings to get up and make it to church?

I usually never do, except when my family is gone and it's just me at home. Like this morning, I woke up on time and had some coffee and thoughts started filling my head. The devil was trying to do his best to keep me at home and not attend worship service this morning.

Some of the things he was trying to tell me were~

*"You can sleep in, go ahead"
*"Just relax and skip church, your family isn't here to go with you anyway."
*"You can skip just this one time"

Get out of my head already!!

I might not care if I skip church but God does and I want to worship him everday with or without my family with me.

I went to church by myself today:-)

Satan you will not get the best of me!

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7

The last few days

Thank you for all your wonderful comments lately, you are so kind.

The last few days I have been super busy baking for my husbands annual father/kids camping trip. There were 30+ of his friends and their kids and his dad going this year. That's a lot of breads and cookies to make. They were having meals to no worries:)

I also thought I had my plan of what I was going to do with volunteering all figured out, but once again God through me a curve-ball and I got a call Thursday(the same day as my meeting) for an interview at one of our local hospitals. So Thursdays meeting is on the back burner until I have my interview on Monday and see where that leads. I am trying not to get my hopes up, but could definetly use some Prayers!:)

Thank you:-)
Michelle

God you amaze me!

In an earlier post I asked for Prayers about what to do regarding my "free" time now that my children will all be in school all day next year.

Well, God had really been guiding me down the path to volunteer. I have been blessed to be able to meet with a local Christian adoption agency to give of my time and love of God:)

I am thrilled!! Please Pray as Thursday I will meet with them.

God is good all the time!

What a mess

Dear Lord,
If I ever get to far from home. I know you will catch up with me and guide me in the right direction.

What a mess~

What a mess you can feel like when you are struggling...

With weight issues
With health issues
With family issues
With financial issues

Sometimes it feels like you are never going to be able to get over the mountain. God says, cast all you cares upon him because he cares for you. We have to believe and have Faith that God will only gives us what we can handle.

The last few years I have really struggled with why God was calling so many of my loved ones "Home". They had to endure illness and pain and I was deeply hurting.

When my Grandparents passed, I had never felt so much pain.

Why did God have to take them from me?

Now I look back at my weight gain and most of my excess pounds were put on during the last 5 years. Food was my main source of comfort, it filled the void. It comforted me in my time of loss.

I realize now, I should have turned to God and not to food to fill my breaking heart. I still miss my loved ones terribly, but if I need to cry, I cry. I do not eat a whole bag of Doritos(even though I would like to sometimes).

I have come to see that God will put us through trials, but not to hurt or break us, but draw us closer to him.

Isaiah 41:10 says- Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand.

God you are my rock!

God is my GPS

God's path for me isn't to be skinny or to show off newly purchased outfits(I am guilty of this). It is to be healthy and content while honoring him.

I thought I had my diet "path" all figured out yesterday and was ready to hit the road, but God stopped me at the first stop sign.

Everything I was reading yesterday, songs I was hearing on the radio were about how we determine our worth, and not by waiting for that certain "something" to happen before really starting to live our lives fully.

I do not want to waist my life away waiting for the scale to show me that I am good enough. I have been shown by losing many people that have been close to me that God can call us home at any minute. I do not want to dwell on weight all the days of my life.

God put this verse in front of me yesterday.

"If you want to be perfect (whole), go, sell all your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

Yes Lord I will follow you~

I want to be healthy...
Not obsessed

I want to be alive...
Not just living

I want to be strong...
Strong in Faith

I want to start living for my health, for my family. Not a number on the scale or a number on a tag.

By Prayer and healthy choices I will continue on this journey not by any type of "plan".

I have been really Praying about a lot of things lately. Regarding my job, what I am planning to do once my children are all going to be in school all day next year. I feel God is trying to show me his plan for me.

Prayers are greatly appreciated:)

"Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."~ Romans 12:2

Thursday's thoughts...

Everything is going great lately:) The scale is at a standstill but good things come in time. I know God is right here with me promising to be here with me on my healthy-eating journey.

I read Psalm 107:18-20 this morning and WOW!! All I can say for today is...

"All my Jesus girls say, Amen!"

The definition of a really bad day

What do you consider "having a bad day"?
I sometimes think it's when I have a rough night at work, and my residents have gotten to my boiling point.
Sometimes I think it's when my kids are just driving me NuTs!
Most often it's when I feel physically bad, like when the scale says I put on a few pounds, or if my clothes just aren't fitting how I think they should.
Even a bad hair day can make me feel this way. But I have really been working on changing my way of thinking. I know people hate to hear "there are so many people worse off than you, so you should be greatful"...but you/I really SHOULD:) I am not sitting in a doctors office week after week receiving chemo treatments, I am not living at a nursing facility, I am not abused. I could go on and on.
I am having a GREAT day today, because God has promised to be right here with me every step good or bad. He allows for us to have our "bad days" but remembering he is always there to hold our hand makes it feel like everything is going to be alright:)

Finding Peace

I am reading a wonderful devotional right now, that has my mind really wondering about things.
The topic today was that Gluttony seems to be overlooked as an acceptable Christian sin. I am questioning what exactly is the end result people are looking for in terms of weight loss? Scripture tells us to let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts. Isn't peace what we want most in our lives- even our health?
WOW...that is powerful stuff! I think being successfull for me will be when I stand on the scale and feel peace, no matter what the number says.
I read this quote yesterday "Food fills your stomach, but never your soul". How true!

Hoping you will find your Peace in you life and weight loss journey:)

Michelle

Being honest with yourself and others

I have really opened up my struggles to the world lately, I feel like. I used to keep everything inside and not share my feelings or thoughts with anyone. This time around it is different. I find myself talking openly about my struggles on this journey with fb, strangers, anyone who will listen. I am hoping this will help someone else and me:)
I love blogging, but also donot want anyone to compare themselves to me, in regards to weight/ weigh in's. I feel like that sets us up for failure. I still find myself feeling like I need to "catch up" with other peoples weight loss..why do we do this to ourselves?? God made us all different for a reason, we are made in his image...I need to remember this!
I was talking openly on fb this morning about having to change mentally now that I have changed physically. When I look in the mirror I still see a fat person. Even though I am not. I see rolls, big thighs etc... Crazy!! I am perfect in God's eyes!!!!! Why can't I see that sometimes?
I think everyone has struggles and needs to be reminded that we are here to support one another through life's journey, weight loss etc...
I am here for you and you have been here for me:)
THANK YOU!

Trying to stay the course

I am currently reading a book by Chantel Hobbs. She talks about at the end of her book some thing called "bye week". A bye week is basically a scheduled/essential break from your wellness routine. Giving you and your body time to refocus on your goals without the pressure of "having to do something" like weighing in. She goes on to talk about how many people quit doing something they are succeeding at, simply because of the pressure to maintain momentum. People who never take a break lose focus and failure takes over and they give up.

I do not want to give up, and I won't!

Basically the off week would be used for Prayer, reading, listening to music..doing the things you love without the added pressure of "weighing in". Giving yourself a boost to recharge your body and mind.

I love this idea! Devoting more time to God and thanking him for the results he has given me on this amazing journey:)
Everyone hits roadblocks it's how you repond to them...that will choose your path.

Lent

As some of you know Lent begins on the 22nd of February. I usually am pretty open about what I will be giving up for Lent, but this year I have decided to do things differently. I am keeping it between my family and God. It's not about boasting if you "stuck with your choice" or "made it", its about sacrifice and for that reason I am keeping my decision a secret. It is big I will give that away:)
Do any of you "give up" something for Lent?
I love Palm Sunday and Easter. Every Easter morning church service I always bring lots of tissues...I am always so moved by the meaning Easter:-)

God is always aware of me

Yesterday was a rough day for me, but with lots of Prayer and some special people, today is a new day:) Weight loss is never easy. Don't let anyone tell you different! Sometimes God puts roadblocks in our path so we stop and refocus on the task that lies ahead. Yesterday was one of those days for me. I felt like I was at a fork in the road and now needed to decide whether to go left or right.

I decided to take out my WW info and read it over and Pray! This morning I got out of bed and with an answer..Weight Watchers is the path I need to take:)

I know some of you are thinking, "man this girl needs to make up her mind already!!" If you are honest with yourself, I am sure we have all been here at some point. It doesn't make us bad people. Some of us are still trying to find our way on this journey:)

Lord, I thank you for listening me. You answer my Prayers more than I realize...

"Carbophobic"

I am seriously in tears right now:'( I happen to come upon a podcast from July from a blog I occasionally follow called Roni's Weigh.

She was answering questions she received from followers emails. It was like she was speaking to me...

One of the questions in particular was about switching from low carb to WW. WOW....is that not what I have done and back again! I am that person she talks about. Can't go out to restaurants or go to peoples houses because you are afraid of what you will be able to eat. Going through your life with tunnel vision, only concentrating on one goal "lose weight". While everything moves on around you and you are "missing it".

"Carbophobic"..that sums it all up!

I do not want to be this person. I want to enjoy everything, food included. I know that life is short. Having lost so many close people to me recently. As Roni says she decided to switch to WW and it was the best decision she ever made. Roni also speaks of going back and forth with different diets, but this is and was the best choice for her(WW).

I have some thinking to do, but I am pretty sure I have come to a decision. I own my life and want to make the best choices for me. Sometimes it takes a few "signs" for you to realize what the path is....

Moving On

I have been absent from Blogger the last few days. I am getting back to the things I loved to do do before my life was consumed by losing weight. Do you ever feel like you have forgotten who you are? besides a person who is trying to lose weight?

Michelle is my name. I love to read, craft, scrapbook, take pictures, be outdoors, camping, walking, riding bike, shopping, baking/cooking, canning etc... I love my family, God and myself. I am not just the girl who has lost almost 45 pounds...

I have been reading 2 different books the last few days and I am in awe of the writers and their message.

This devotional is wonderful. Please check it out:)

If you are a wife, you MUST read this book, it is an amazing read!! Everything about it hits home for me and it will for you too.

I also have been doing a few crafts:0)

I found this idea on Pinterest. You take an old picture frame,insert a piece of notebook paper instead of a picture. I decorated mine with a few buttons and scrapbooking flowers:) Now you have a dry erase message board to leave messages for your family. *Use with dry erase markers only*

I love making my own cards!! It is something I have been wanting to get back to for a while now.

I will end this post with the Prayer from my devotional today.

Dear Jesus,thank you for creating me as you did. I Pray today that I would think as much of you as I do my appearance. Help me to be a woman of substance today and honor you in the time I spend on me versus the time I spend with you, Amen.

Hold the toast!!

After writing an earlier post, I really thought about what it is that "I" am looking for in my weight loss journey. Everyone says and does there own thing when it comes to what works for them when it comes to dieting. I am keeping things honest with you, I enjoyed the time I had off of a Low Carb diet, but the feeling of "enjoying" those foods has long passed for me. I have been really thinking and Praying about what to do from here on out on my weight loss journey, and I have decided to go back to what has worked the best for "me"...Low Carb.

I am giving myself another challenge to jump start my weight loss again. Now I never really did bad on WW, dont get me wrong but the scale isn't moving and I want to see those numbers keep on moving down and get to my goal weight:0)

I am challenging myself to a 2 week challenge to give my weight loss the jump start it needs!

"The greatest realization is this; God will be with me every step of the way. He never quits, and he never loses. If I ever feel like I don't have the strength to continue, I can always find strength in God. He holds the power for me to suceed in my new life, and he will give it to me every time I ask.... One step at a time. One day at a time. One sucess at a time."

Snowy days

Today is one of those days where you just want to stare outside your window..

Have a wonderful weekend everyone:)

Michelle